Personal Critic

Due to time constraints (Did you know there's only 24 hours in the day? As it's almost imperetive to spend at least 3 of those asleep, particularly if you have a toddler running around the house, you can only count a maximum of 21 of those as working hours, no matter what Jack Bauer's able to do.), I haven't written on my book since August 11. 

I came back to it this week and tried to read through it to evaluate where I'm at and where I need to go next. It was extremely depressing.

As I read, I felt like I was reading the most childish thing ever written. And in August I'd thought it was great! Have my opinions changed so dramatically? Probably not. More than likely it's my ever present problem: I am my own worst critic.

When reading another's work, I can be incredibly honest about the faults, but still be upbeat about it's merits. Somehow when I read my own writing, all I see are the faults.

The other day I asked my husband if he noticed some flaw on my face, as I stared directly at it in the mirror. He laughed, told me no, and reminded me to stop looking for all the flaws.

Example #10002 of Ryan's genius. Stop looking for all the flaws. There's a lot I do that's good, and the things that aren't so good... well, they're works in progress. Pointing out the flaws only makes the issue bigger. 

I'd still argue this story needs a good 3-4 rewrites, and I'm not 100% sure I'm up to it, but I'm reading it now looking for what's good. Somehow, that's a lot more fun.